Wayne Townsend, LCSW
3729 Benson Drive Raleigh NC 27609     919-961-5825    wayne0877@earthlink.net
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You Won't Believe What Happened Next....

2/27/2015

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A brief commentary on how we can be entertained, manipulated or even seduced into trouble.  Do you really have free will? The headline above, and many variations thereof, are all the rage in social media these days and companies using this technique are making millions from ad revenue once they entice you to visit their website. They are "hooks" to reel you in. 

Politics, economy, national security.  Boring.  Hollywood drama, kittens and puppies, or optical illusions capture our attention. Attention for which there is massive competition.  And mostly there is no harm, nothing illegal or unethical. Just highly effective advertising.  Maybe wasted time online or letting outside companies get access to your internet interest, log in data or other  vulnerabilities.  It might also speak to our rabid need for stimulation and social interaction. But mainly it is our weakness for wanting to know "what's behind Door # 3?". 

If you have read some of my other posts, you know the issue of self-control is a central principle.  The next time you are tempted by this very effective style of headline, test it and see if you can resist. And especially if your "friends" are sharing it with you as if it is something you "have to see".   Do you really have free will?  


And finally, perhaps the rise in this style of advertising speaks to our need for, and appreciation of, anything that is inspirational, uplifting or just fun. Even though these are used as bait, we  certainly can use more positive human interest stories. And videos of kittens playing. 
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Change of Mind

2/17/2015

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She sat down and, for the first time in weeks,  seemed very excited to be in my office. Then began the report of a significant change of mindset.  From thinking her whole life that she needed "other people" to change in order for her to be happy to realizing that she could control and change her reactions to others instead.   She felt very empowered by taking responsibility for her own actions and becoming less "dependent" on others.  

This idea had previously created an assumption that  self blame and self criticism would replace  blaming and being critical of others. But now she could see her life situations more rationally and realized it was not about all that.   Nothing had to change about her toxic work environment or her moody / substance abusing boyfriend.
Her family did not need to become more supportive. Now, changes in all those areas would have been great, but she had been waiting on external circumstances change for a long time.  And the result was frustration, disappointment and pain. 


Taking responsibility for her "reactions" to all this gave her more choices. Options. More self control of her life experience.  More successful outcomes. More "letting go" of what she could not control. No more feeling like a victim. Less of the primitive "fight or flight" options that stress creates. She said "I feel like a grown up!".  Not bad for a 40 year old.  And people noticed.  Her friend asked "new medicine or new boyfriend?" She said, "no, just an emerging new me". 


In fact she soon discontinued, with help from her doctor, her multiple psychiatric medicines, stopped talking with her now ex-boyfriend, and accepted an offer for a new job in another state, not as a running away this time but as a moving toward the life she had begun to envision.  And in her free time she was now off the couch and "out and about" with her new camera.
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    In this new blog I have added entries from a past website of mine and some new  thoughts for your review ...  and to hopefully give you something useful to think about. I look forward to hearing from you.

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