Wayne Townsend, Consultant
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Value of Hope

9/27/2015

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aspiration, desire, wish, expectation, ambition, aim, goal, plan


We all know the value of “hope” for our morale.  But what is its true value? What makes hope so important and “hopeless” so dangerous when it comes to solving problems or completing tasks.  I view hope as “motivation”. That which encourages and supports action, especially when effort toward a difficult goal is needed. Hope is courage.  Hope is future oriented and research has confirmed that the more successful among us at accomplishing goals are naturally future-oriented.  As an invaluable source of motivation, hope spurs us forward.


By comparison, what happens to your forward momentum when the possibility of reaching a goal does not seem possible? No matter how hard you try your efforts will not be successful. “Spinning your wheels” perseverance will only burn you out. You lose confidence in the outcome of your efforts or pursuit of desires.  Action becomes inaction and passivity. And hopelessness takes over, deteriorating our morale and our actions. Depression can set in.


Finally, what do we do then with unreachable but important goals? We “accept” reality, leading to a kind of peace that hopelessness can never provide. Do not take it personally or “make it about you”.   We then redirect our efforts back to the possible and continue our trek forward toward new goals. Self control is then enhanced and a new energy can emerge.


Th Serenity Prayer is a simplified version of my thoughts above.


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

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Forced...not Chosen

9/13/2015

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I have written about the sometimes extreme difference between focusing your attention and efforts on things you can not control vs what you can control.  Seeing people make that shift was impressive in how much less stress they experienced and how much more empowered they felt.


But, looking back over the years and hundreds of sessions, a primary reason people felt so disempowered and stressed is that the problems they were confronted with were not "chosen".  Having to find a way to cope was made very difficult because these problems, illnesses, life changes and traumas were "forced" on them.  They were not wanted. Were not voluntary. The consequences were often devastating.  In the beginning, and sometimes for a long time, forced "adjustments" rarely feel very good or satisfying. And the resulting reality is usually engaged with very reluctantly. 


I know there are some who believe in the philosophy of free will and that "things happen for a reason".  That we create our own reality. But that is often just a mindset that offers the "illusion of control".  For most it is after adjustments have been made that we go about looking for how to "make the best of it" or find some "positives". But tragedies offer few positives, just the rather humbling awareness that security can be fleeting and that, in truth, life is hard.  That it takes a lot of effort to have as much as possible under your control. That tomorrow things could change without your permission.  No one escapes, it happens to us all, so at least do not take it personally.
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    In this new blog I have added entries from a past website of mine and some new  thoughts for your review ...  and to hopefully give you something useful to think about. I look forward to hearing from you.

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