Many ponder why long term relationships are so fragile. Fragile either in stability or satisfaction. This includes marriage, parenting, business and friendships. What I see with many couples and parents is a lost art of negotiation. You see, all relationships are a co-creation of various agendas, goals, preferences. When people do not value the role of conscious negotiation, these agendas can become more competitive and conflictual as each party fights for “their way” at the exclusion of others.
But to work with others and incorporate their preferences in a process of compromise, communication, and decision-making might one time go one way and another time the other. The wisest negotiators know that by working “with” others they are more likely to get more of what they want in the long run. Too aggressive and self-centered or too passive and other-centered can throw a relationship off balance and the end result will often be unsatisfactory.
So, think longer term. Cultivate patience with others and clarity of your own preferences. Know what you want but be flexible enough to work with others. Do not force your way each time but do not give in every time and you will have satisfying and enriching relationships that will add value to your life.
But to work with others and incorporate their preferences in a process of compromise, communication, and decision-making might one time go one way and another time the other. The wisest negotiators know that by working “with” others they are more likely to get more of what they want in the long run. Too aggressive and self-centered or too passive and other-centered can throw a relationship off balance and the end result will often be unsatisfactory.
So, think longer term. Cultivate patience with others and clarity of your own preferences. Know what you want but be flexible enough to work with others. Do not force your way each time but do not give in every time and you will have satisfying and enriching relationships that will add value to your life.
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