The foundation of self esteem is not accomplishment, but self control.
I can not effectively manage, or change, that which I can not control.
My reactions to something or someone are not always an accurate measurement of that “something or someone” but can be useful information about me and my relationship to it or them.
If I want to make a problem “bigger” I need simply to “take it personally” and “make it about me”. Works almost every time.